


Picking up the pieces

by imloopy



Series: The Lord of Hell [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: post-season4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-06 02:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19053382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imloopy/pseuds/imloopy
Summary: What happened to Chloe after Lucifer left?This story continues on from season 4 episode 10. Because it will be a while before we see the real version, and while we're missing Lucifer so is Chloe.





	1. He's gone

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how far I'll be going with this, but hope it will be at least three chapters.  
> But if I get distracted - I apologise in advance.

For a long time, Chloe remained on the balcony, just staring blankly at nothing. What had even happened? Just a few short weeks ago she had been living an ordinary life, balancing the needs of her job and her child, and her biggest concern was the rather eccentric British man who had invaded her life and turned her feelings upside down.

   And then she had seen Lucifer’s devil face, learned that he was telling the truth when he told her he was the actual devil, and since then life had been crazy, with barely a moment to grasp one new revelation before another came along.

   She had finally come to terms with the truth about Lucifer, and could finally see a way forward for them both, and now…

   She sank into one of the seats on the balcony, her legs giving way as the last few hours caught up with her. Two thoughts chased themselves around her head, making her dizzy. She loved him. And he was gone.

   After what felt like a lifetime, she stood and unsteadily made her way inside. She should go home, find Trixie.

   Get back to normal life.

   The penthouse was still in the mess that the demons had created, broken glass everywhere, furniture overturned, papers scattered. She found herself picking up a couple of books that lay in her path, and gently pushing glass fragments to one side with her foot. Maybe she should tidy up for him. She couldn’t just leave it like this; when he came back…

   If he came back.

   This wasn’t her responsibility. She supposed that Amenadiel would have to deal with it all. She put the books down on the desk, and placed the lamp back upright. Lucifer was gone. And she would never see him again. Her mind refused to move past that thought, and as though on autopilot she continued to tidy.

   As she straightened the cushions on the sofa - the Italian leather settee, she corrected herself wryly - the fuzzy grey blanket lying on the floor next to it reminded her of that moment the previous night when she and Maze had found Lucifer napping. She picked the blanket up and ran her fingers over it. It reminded her of Trixie’s baby blanket, and of the blanket that baby Charlie had been wrapped in. The texture conjured up feelings of being warm and safe and snuggled, and she sank down on the sofa and pulled it around her. Lucifer’s unique scent still clung to it, a mixture of aftershave and musk, and just for a moment she felt his presence beside her. She buried her face into the blanket and sobbed.

 ***

When she awoke, the sun was beginning to creep into the penthouse, and she stretched and yawned, trying to remember why she was here.

   He was gone.

   The thought hit her like a slap. She had told him she loved him. She had begged him to stay. And he had left.

   Her mind flashed back to Marcus. He had done the same to her, had run the moment she declared her love to him. And she had thought that had hurt.

   This was a different level of hurt. It was like a splinter compared to a broken bone. It was like a cold compared to pneumonia.

   It was like hurt pride compared to having her heart ripped out and shredded.

   He couldn’t have gone permanently. Surely he would return. She couldn’t imagine life without him.

   Chloe threw the blanket aside and jumped to her feet. She couldn’t bear to sit still a moment longer, with thoughts of Lucifer running round her head. The mess around her struck her anew, and she hesitated, telling herself again that it was none of her business, but the thought of anyone else seeing it like this felt wrong, and she decided that she would do what she could to at least make it look halfway decent.

   She struggled to set the heavy chair back upright, and found a piece of pink card underneath it. Stooping to pick it up, she frowned; it looked familiar. Turning it over, she found that it was one of Trixie’s birthday party invitations. She smiled at the thought of Lucifer hanging out at the local pizza parlour with a bunch of ten year old girls, then found tears pricking at her eyes at the thought that he would not be there, would never hang out with them again.

   What would Trixie say when she told her that Lucifer had had to go away? And that she didn’t think he was coming back? She would be heartbroken. Guilt lanced through her as she thought about the babysitter. Trixie would be waking for school soon, and she should be home to take her.

   But she couldn’t face the thought of leaving the penthouse and walking back into her life. Instead, she continued methodically moving around the room, picking things up, putting things back into place, noting where broken glass lay scattered. One bottle had been smashed onto a rug - the splinters would be impossible to clear safely. She rolled the rug and placed it to one side, putting the larger shards in a pile. There should be cleaning materials somewhere. She stood and looked around, trying to work out where he would keep them. She knew there was a kitchen and other rooms downstairs, but surely he would keep stuff on this floor as well.

   Ahah! Investigation of the cupboards under the bar on the back wall revealed a dustpan and brush, and a roll of garbage bags. She pulled them out. Turning back towards the mess in the room, an envelope caught her attention; it was propped up against a bottle of whiskey that was sitting there. On the front, written in an ornate hand that she recognised as Lucifer’s, was her name.

   With shaking hand, she picked it up. It contained a thick pack of typewritten papers, plus a sheet on top that was handwritten.

 

_My dearest Chloe_

_By the time you find this, I will be gone. I’m sorry. I didn’t want things to end this way. But I’m sure you’ll understand that I have to do this. Returning to claim my place as King of Hell is the only way to ensure your safety. If I don’t, then they’ll return, and then not only you but all of humanity will be in danger._

_Please take these papers to my lawyers. They’ll know what to do with them._

_The penthouse is yours, as is everything else that I own. I no longer need any of it, and you’ll make much better use of it than my brother would. All I ask is that you keep an eye on Charlie and Linda. And tell Maze I’m sorry, but I’m sure she’s better off here protecting them than coming with me, just in case. I think she’s finally found her place._

_I thought I had too._

_Just please understand - I loved every moment I spent with you (a_ _part from the betrayal bit of course)._

_Take care of the urchin, and that_ _douche of an ex-husband of yours._

_And give Ella a hug. You were always better at those than me._

_Yours forever_

_Lucifer Morningstar_

 

 


	2. No return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe tries to come to terms with Lucifer's decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to hold off until tomorrow. But I'm making myself so painfully miserable with this that I decided I had to pass it on. Sorry! Comments and feedback always welcome.

Chloe’s mind raced as she stared down at the papers. This didn’t make sense. This made it sound as though he had no intention of coming back. And that couldn’t be right!

   Snatching up the papers, she pulled out her phone and made a hurried phone call home, checking that the babysitter was okay to get Trixie off to school. Then she gave one last look around the penthouse before heading to the elevator. She could only think of one person who could help right now.

*** 

Maze opened the door, a long, sharp blade in one hand. “Oh, it’s you, Decker,” she said, recognising the visitor. She slid the blade casually into her belt. “What’s up?”

   Linda was sitting cradling the baby, and smiled in greeting, before her smile faded as she saw Chloe’s expression. “What’s the matter?” she asked, full of concern.

   Chloe had no time for niceties. “Where’s Amenadiel?” she demanded.

   “I’m right here, Chloe.”

   She turned at the voice from behind her. “Amenadiel, you have to help,” she said. “It’s Lucifer. He’s gone.” She thrust the envelope of papers into his hand, desperate for him to understand, to take charge, to fix everything.

   “Gone? What do you mean?” The angel frowned in puzzlement.

   “Sit down, Chloe, take a deep breath,” said Linda, placing the baby in his crib and taking her hands. “You look like you’re about to collapse. Maze, bring her a drink. And water, this time, please.”

   Maze pulled a face, but headed to the kitchen, and Chloe lowered herself into a comfy chair and stared at her hands, not sure where to begin. She gratefully sipped at the glass of water that Maze offered her.

   “Lucifer said he had to go back to Hell,” she said, when she felt she had enough control over her voice to speak without breaking down. “He said it was the only way to keep the demons under control, to give them the king they needed.”

   Amenadiel opened his mouth to speak, but Linda elbowed him. “Are you sure?” she said. “Did he say how long for?”

   “That’s just it.” Chloe indicated the papers he was holding. “He left that. I hoped he would be coming back, but this…” The tears got the better of her again, and her shoulders shook as she fought to control her emotions.

   Linda sat on the arm of the chair next to Chloe, putting her arm around her in a hug. “That’s right,” she encouraged. “No sense in bottling it all up. We had a pretty traumatic time last night. We’re all a bit emotional right now.”

   Amenadiel flicked through the papers. “This all looks straightforward,” he said. “It looks like my brother has finally learned to accept the role our father chose for him. He has no need for his worldly possessions now, so he has passed them all onto you.”

   “Amenadiel!” Linda’s voice was a hiss. “This isn’t the time to pontificate.”

   Chloe leaned into her shoulder, feeling a little comforted. “Can you talk to him? Please? Amenadiel, you can go to him, can’t you?”

   He looked down at her thoughtfully. “It’s not my place to talk the King of Hell out of carrying out his duties.”

   “Don’t you dare!” Linda raised her voice. “Don’t you dare pull that stunt now, Amenadiel. You get down there and talk to him. You know what he’s like. There has to be another solution.”

   He opened his mouth to speak, and then shrugged. “I’ll go talk to him,” he sighed, and walked into the next room. There was a faint _whoomph_ noise that Chloe recognised from when Lucifer had produced his wings the night before, and her heart lurched. She turned to Linda to say something, but before she could speak, there was another _whoomph_ and Amenadiel walked back in. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking at Chloe with eyes full of sympathy. “He’s locked the gates of Hell. No one can unlock them, not even another angel, and no one may pass through except the souls of the dead.”

   A chill passed over her. “He’s really not coming back?” she asked in a very small voice.

   Amenadiel crouched next to her. “I’m sorry, Chloe, it doesn’t look like it,” he said. “It looks as though he’s made a decision and is holding himself to it by locking himself in with the demons. He couldn’t return now even if he wanted to.”

   Jumping to her feet, Chloe hit his chest with her fists. “It’s not true!” she sobbed. “He has to come back. He can’t leave me! He has to come back!”

   He held her and waited for her tears to slow, before saying quietly, “I’m sorry, Chloe. There’s no way we can get to him to talk to him, and there’s no way he can come back. I’m sure he took this decision to keep humanity safe. We can be proud of the fact that he’s learned to take responsibility, however much it might hurt us to no longer have him around.”

   Chloe looked over at Maze, who had picked the baby up and was rocking him in her arms. “Maze? What about you? You were angry when he wouldn’t take you back to Hell. And now you can’t get there? Surely you must be furious.”

   Maze met her gaze uncertainly, and then looked back down at Charlie, who was waving a fist in the air and wriggling his little body in her arms. “I thought I would be,” she said, allowing the baby to clutch her finger and try to pull it into his mouth. “But I think I’ve found my place now. This little man needs me to teach him and to protect him.”

   Linda’s steady gaze offered no hope either. Chloe allowed Amenadiel to hug her close, and to support her in his arms, as she felt a wave of misery and despair wash over her.

 ***

Chloe rang in sick to work. There were reports of them dealing with mass murder at the Mayan, but right now she felt that the further she kept from that investigation the better - she wasn’t sure how she would manage to go through the motions of investigation without revealing that they were caused by demons rising up from Hell.

   And besides, if this paperwork was genuine, she could probably afford a day off every now and again.

   Later that morning, Amenadiel took her to the lawyer’s office, and watched impassively as she signed the papers that accepted control of Lucifer’s fortune. She paled as she heard just how much she was now worth.

   “Are you intending to notify the staff at the club that you’re their new employer?” the lawyer asked. “Or would you like us to send them an official letter?”

   Chloe grasped at the chance to avoid dealing with the matter just yet. “Yes please,” she said. “Just ask them to carry on as normal until we figure this thing out.” How many employees were there, anyway? Did the club make any money? Did any of that matter now?

   As they walked back to the car, Amenadiel turned to her. “So I take it you’ll be selling the club?” he asked.

   “No.” The words were out of her mouth before Chloe had even thought it through. “I’m not selling anything. It’s Lucifer’s money, not mine. I’ll look after everything for him, but I’m not selling up.”

   “Are you sure?” His face was serious. “There’s a lot of work involved in running a nightclub.”

   “I don’t care. I’ll… I’ll employ a manager. Someone to keep it going for him. For me. For us.” The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Despite Amenadiel’s report, she could not believe that Lucifer would not return. Wasn’t this just typical of him? To do something drastic and then realise he was in the right place all along? He would come to his senses. And when he did, everything would be here for him, ready and waiting, just as he had left it.

 ***

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?”

   Chloe shook her head. “Thanks, Amenadiel, but I want to do this by myself. I’ll call if I need you, okay? And I can get an Uber back to pick up my car.”

   “You can drive the Corvette if you want,” he pointed out. “It’s yours now, after all.”

   “Oh, I couldn’t. I’d be terrified of damaging it, he’d be so upset.”

   Amenadiel laid a hand gently on her arm. “He’s not going to know,” he pointed out. “And it’s no longer his anyway.”

   It was hard to accept. “Still, I don’t think I’ll be driving it just yet.”

   “Whatever you think best.” He nodded seriously. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.”

   “Thanks.” Chloe stepped out of the car and watched him drive off. The idea of returning to the penthouse scared her, but at the same time it felt like it was somewhere she should be. This time when the elevator dinged and the doors slid open she stepped forward into the room knowing that she was the legal owner but feeling more than ever as though she was intruding.

   The mess was worse than she remembered, now that she was seeing it in full daylight, and she wasn’t sure where to begin. She could call a cleaning company, of course; it wasn’t as though it was too expensive. Nothing was too expensive for her now. But it didn’t feel right to have strangers poking around Lucifer’s stuff. Not to mention that she had no idea what mysteries were lurking in the place; maybe there were things that shouldn’t really be seen by anyone who didn’t understand the truth.

   She started methodically, sorting out broken bottles and empty bottles and putting the full, undamaged ones back on the shelf. Were they supposed to be in some sort of order? She didn’t know the first thing about whiskey, apart from the fact that Lucifer had definite favourites and they were probably the most expensive. Maybe she should learn.

   There was a lot she had to learn.

  _Ouch!_ She cut her hand on a shard of glass, and as she dabbed at the injury with a nearby napkin she remembered Lucifer doing the same, all those weeks ago. That was when she first learned that he could only be hurt when she was near. How incredible to think that he was literally vulnerable only in her presence! And still he chose not only to stay close to her but to deliberately put himself in danger to protect her.

   An image came into her mind: Lucifer standing in the nightclub, a knife sticking out of his chest. And she had thought he was pushing her away before that to protect himself from hurt! She had pressed her hand to his wound, seeking to staunch the blood flow, and felt him tremble under her touch. He had placed his hand on hers, and it was shaking.

   She blinked back tears. She had done enough crying in the past few hours. Now was not the time. She had work to do.

   She headed down the stairs through the archway towards the kitchen she knew about but had never visited, and found her mouth dropping open as she found the best equipped kitchen she had ever seen. Gleaming counter tops, a bank of ovens, a breakfast bar with two stools, one pushed back a little as though someone had just stood up from it. A plate rested on the counter, a crust of toast on it. A mug contained the dregs of coffee. So he did drink something other than whiskey at times!

   He had cooked for her once, in her old, tiny kitchen. What had he thought of it? No wonder he seemed to enjoy cooking, if this is where he had a chance to do it. And last time she had eaten here, he had produced grilled cheese sandwiches for her. Because that was what she had told him she liked, and he wanted to please her. God, she had been so cruel to him at times, unintentionally! And he had only ever wanted her to care for him as he cared for her.

    _Focus, Decker!_ She gazed around, wondering where she would find the equipment she needed to clear up the broken glass safely, and noticed something sitting in the corner. Closer inspection proved it to be a large parcel, about three feet long, two feet wide and a few inches deep, wrapped in brightly coloured paper that featured unicorns. An envelope rested on top, with a single word written on it. _Trixie_.

   It was Trixie’s birthday present and card, all ready for the following week. Chloe remembered the invitation upstairs, the way that Lucifer had looked shocked and then confused when Trixie had presented it to him, the way he had stammered out a thank-you and an agreement that he would try to be there.

   He had bought her a present, and had wrapped it carefully for her - the tape and scissors resting nearby betrayed the fact that he had done it himself, and not paid someone else to do it.

   The tears that she had kept back successfully for the past few hours started to flow again as she imagined him standing there folding, creasing, cutting, sticking, and then maybe standing back to admire his work. _I hope you know I'd do anything to protect that little urchin._ For all his pretence, she knew he cared deeply for Trixie.

   And that was part of the reason he was no longer here. Because the devil who had walked away from all his responsibilities a few years ago had learned to care so deeply for humanity - or at least some of humanity - that he was willing to abandon his entire life here to keep them safe. As much as she admired him for that, all she really wanted right now, what her whole body ached for, was to see him again, to hear his voice and feel his arms around her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What else do you think she might find as she tidies?


	3. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie's birthday, but the guest of honour is missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has decided that it's going to take another couple of chapters. Are you missing Lucifer yet? Thanks for comments and kudos - always welcome!

By the time she needed to be home for Trixie, Chloe had made a little progress with the penthouse, placing the damaged light fittings to one side awaiting the attention of an electrician. The main area looked almost presentable, but she hadn’t even touched the rest of the place. Again she contemplated calling in a cleaning company, and again she could not bear the idea of someone else poking around in Lucifer’s things.

   Trixie gave her a big hug when she got home. “Mommy, is Dr Linda’s baby okay?” she asked worriedly.

   “Yes, monkey, he’s absolutely fine. Perhaps we’ll go see them at the weekend.” Chloe allowed Trixie to put her school things in her bedroom and then sat her down. “I’m afraid I have some other bad news though. Lucifer has had to go away.”

   Trixie’s eyes filled with tears. “How long for? Is he all right? Will he make it back for my birthday party next week?”

   “I - I’m not sure.” Chloe hesitated. “He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to come back, but I believe that he’ll find a way if it’s at all possible. I don’t think he’ll be here for your birthday, though, but he’s left you a present.” She tried to sound positive.

   “I really hope he does manage it, Mommy. I’m sure he’ll try as hard as he can.” She paused, as though weighing up whether to continue or not. “I dreamed about him last night.”

   “Oh really?” Chloe regarded her daughter with amusement. “And why were you dreaming about Lucifer?”

   Trixie smiled. “I dreamed Lucifer came and told me he was sorry he had to go, and about making you sad. And he said something about asking Ella about a red dress.” Trixie played with the edge of the cushion next to her. “You know Lucifer always says he’s the devil? Well, it was really strange, because in my dream he wasn’t a devil at all, he was an angel and he had big, fluffy white wings and he could fly.”

   She picked up her sketchbook and pencil and became absorbed in her latest drawing, leaving Chloe to watch her in surprise and concern. Where could Trixie have got the idea of Lucifer being an angel? And those wings… She lost herself for a moment, remembering the last time she had seen him. When he had produced that magnificent pair of wings, so different from the leathery batwings she had seen just a few days previously, and then used them to fly away from her forever.

   “Mommy?” She came out of her trance to find Trixie staring at her. “Are you all right?”

   “I’m fine, monkey. Don’t worry about me. I just really miss him, that’s all.”

   Struck by a sudden thought, Chloe went upstairs. On her dressing table stood a jewelry box. She checked the first compartment, frowned, and checked the second. What had she done with it?

   For one horrible moment she thought it was lost, but it was tucked into a back corner. She took it out and held it in the palm of her hand. Such a small thing; and yet it meant so much to her. Even more, now that she understood the full significance of it. The bullet she had shot the devil with. The first time that anything had ever been able to hurt the devil himself. His gift to her, on her birthday, to commemorate the fact that she had been able to hurt him, while his charms failed to work on her.

   Only now did she understand just how big a deal that was for him, and she had taken it off because Pierce had objected to her wearing it. She was only now starting to fully realise just how she had allowed herself to be manipulated by others.

   She carefully fastened the necklace around her neck, and vowed to herself that she would not take it off until Lucifer had returned.

 ***

When she went back down, Trixie was sitting playing with her phone. She gave her mother a sad smile. “I figured out a way Lucifer can be there for my birthday party after all,” she said, holding the phone out so Chloe could see the screen. “See this photo of Lucifer? We can get it printed and framed and then he can be with us.”

   Chloe sat beside her and took the phone. She smiled down at Lucifer’s expression. The photo dated back a few months, before Pierce had disrupted their lives so thoroughly. Lucifer had taken the pair of them to the amusement park for the day, and had bought them all enormous bags of cotton candy. In the photo, he was pretending to try to fit it all in his mouth, and the expression on his face was priceless.

   She checked the next couple of photos as well, and found the one she was looking for. Trixie’s legs had started to ache, and Lucifer had hoisted her onto his back. She had been laughing as Trixie pretended he was her horse, and a stranger had offered to take their photo. All three of them were caught mid-laugh, and they looked like any normal, happy family.

   She could hardly bear to look, and yet couldn’t bear to look away. “How about we get this framed too?” she said.

 ***

Chloe returned to the penthouse next day to continue her cleaning. It was time to tackle the bedroom, she decided, looking down at the bed. She decided to change the sheets; while that wasn’t exactly high priority, it was straightforward and gave her something to do without having to think too hard. She checked in the cupboard for clean sheets, but found instead a box of what she realised after a moment’s blank stare were sex toys. She sat on the side of the bed, shifting gingerly through the box, marvelling at what she found. Some were straightforward: vibrators, and dildos, and was that a pair of her handcuffs? Others required a little more imagination to figure out a use for. One or two she had no idea on, and toyed with the idea of asking Maze. She would know, surely. But did Chloe want to admit how ignorant she was in such matters?

   Packets of condoms, and an ample supply of lube, and packs of antiseptic wipes, reassured her that hygiene had been given at least a passing thought. For a moment she contemplated trying one or two out, but her boring side forced her to put them back for now and continue the search for clean bed linen. In the end she found a stack of sheets in the laundry room. Black or gold? As she decided on gold and stripped the bed of its current set of sheets, her mind wandered to the only time she had spent the night in Lucifer’s bed. She had woken, head thumping, to find him sitting in a chair next to the bed watching her with amusement. He had made the most of the occasion, teasing her with all sorts of acts that she couldn’t remember, before admitting - seeming to be almost shocked at the thought - that nothing had happened.

   All those strange times made so much more sense now she knew the truth.

   She finished making the bed and stretched herself out on it. The mattress moulded itself to her body, and she wondered what it would be like to sleep here. Maybe she would try it sometime.

   Her work took her into the walk-in closet, where half of Lucifer’s suits hung neatly organised while others had been dumped on the floor. She started picking them all up and replacing them carefully. The chest of drawers stood with half the drawers pulled out and a pile of underwear on the floor, and she picked up the nearest pile, remembering when she had to keep Dan’s clothes organised. That man could never put anything away! He was so unlike Lucifer, who looked to be almost obsessive in his neatness.

   All the socks were black, neatly bundled in pairs, and she identified the drawer they had probably come from. She and Linda had never gotten around to checking his sock drawer, that time when he disappeared off to Las Vegas on her birthday. The safe had distracted her. She made a mental note to check that other safe, and started tucking the socks back where they belonged.

   A flash of colour caught her eye, and she frowned and pulled a bundle out from the back of the drawer. It was a five-pack of socks - the only ones in the drawer that were not plain black. These all had bright designs on that featured devils, and she gave a start as she recognised a note on the packaging. “A present for Lucifer.” It looked like Trixie’s writing. So that was what that little monkey had been up to that time when she had insisted on giving Lucifer a small parcel! She smiled at the thought of Lucifer wearing socks like these with his usual three-piece suit.

   Chloe turned the packet over in her hands, and then frowned. Four pairs. But the packet said five. She looked all around, first in that drawer, then the floor, then the other drawers, but there was no sign of a fifth pair.

   In the end, she shrugged and put them all back. Now the closet looked just about clear, apart from half a dozen shirts lying in a pile. She found a wardrobe they had been pulled from, and tucked them neatly back in.

   A cardboard box in the bottom of the wardrobe caught her attention and she pulled it out. Inside it was a beautiful red silk dress. She pulled it out and held it against herself, admiring her reflection in the full-length mirror. How many times had Lucifer checked his appearance in that mirror before leaving?

   And who did the dress belong to? Eve? She hadn’t found anything else from the woman lying around, but she could have left the dress behind. It looked brand new, unworn. What had she heard about a red dress lately? She frowned, but it was gone. Maybe it would come back to her later.

 ***

In the end, Chloe hired the pizza restaurant for the whole afternoon for Trixie’s party. She muttered something to Dan when he asked about the cost, but she still hadn’t dared tell him about Lucifer’s fortune. He hadn’t said much about Lucifer’s disappearance, and she didn’t have the strength to face the probable argument that would follow the revelation. Trixie had a crowd of her friends along, and Chloe invited her own friends too. It didn’t seem right to celebrate Trixie’s birthday without Linda and Amenadiel, and Ella. Maze was already on the invitation list, of course.

   A chair was set aside for Lucifer, with his photo taking the place of a plate, and the wrapped present sitting in his chair. Chloe caught Trixie giving the photo and present sidelong glances throughout the afternoon, and she wished she could make her daughter feel better, but she felt too miserable herself to make any difference. She sat with the adults, watching as the youngsters made themselves busy playing and eating.

   “So where’s Lucifer?” Ella asked.

   “He - had to go away.” Chloe sighed. “I’m looking after his things until he comes back.” She caught Amenadiel looking at her, an uncomfortable expression on his face, but she chose to ignore him. Let him think what he wanted; she just had to have faith that Lucifer would find a way back.

   She sought some way to change the subject, and the words Trixie had said to her about her dream came back to her. Ella. What was she supposed to ask her? Something about…

   A red dress. Chloe’s thoughts jumped to the red dress she found in Lucifer’s wardrobe. That was Ella’s? But that made no sense.

   “Do you know?” she said tentatively. “I’ve found some strange things in Lucifer’s apartment while tidying for him.” She thought of the box of sex toys, and felt her face flush. She suddenly eyed the box in Lucifer’s seat with trepidation. He wouldn’t be that silly, would he? But then, how did he know what Trixie would actually like? And how did his mind work?

   She pushed such thoughts aside, and momentarily regretted letting Trixie bring the parcel with her to open rather than opening it at home. “I mean, I found this red dress in a box in his wardrobe. I wonder who it belonged to.”

   Ella’s eyes opened wide, and she looked fit to explode with excitement. “He still has the dress?” she breathed. “Oh, Chloe, did you try it on? Did it fit perfectly? I bet it did. Lucifer has such good taste.”

   “What do you know about the dress?” Chloe tried to keep suspicion out of her voice.

   “You remember when you agreed to go out on a date with him?” Ella was almost bouncing in her chair now.

   “I did?” She did remember. Back when she was planning to use the opportunity to drug him and send him back to Hell. She went cold with horror at the memory. “What about it?”

   “Well, you postponed the original date because you wanted to focus on the case, but by then Lucifer had planned the perfect date for you guys. He was going to fly you to the opera in a helicopter, and he bought you that gorgeous dress…” Ella’s voice trailed off for a moment. “But then you said you wanted to wait until you’d solved the case, and so he gave me the opera tickets instead. I always wondered what he did with the dress, whether he gave it to you later or not, but you never said anything.”

   “Oh. Well, yeah, it’s beautiful.” And he had thought of her that carefully. Chloe lowered her head to the table for a moment, hiding the despair in her face. She had been so stupid. And now she’d lost everything.

   Or maybe not. She slipped out of her seat and crouched by Amenadiel, who was rocking his son to sleep in his arms. Even in the short time since his birth, the baby had filled out and grown. “Amenadiel? Is it possible for Lucifer to appear to people in dreams?”

   He frowned. “I think that’s highly unlikely,” he answered. “He’s locked in Hell, remember. There’s no way he or anyone else can leave, just as no one can enter except dead souls. I think it’s far more likely that your subconscious mind is throwing up images of him through your own desire.”

   And yet Trixie had dreamed of Lucifer with angel wings, and in her dream he had sent a message for Chloe to ask Ella about the red dress.

   Chloe didn’t try arguing with Amenadiel, fearful that he would persuade her that he was right. She would rather hold onto her hopes and wishes. Right now they were all that was keeping her going.

 ***

Trixie came up to her, accompanied by a couple of her friends. “Can I open my presents now, Mommy?” she asked eagerly. “I want to see what Lucifer got me.”

   “Maybe it would be better to open that one at home?” Chloe answered, suddenly nervous about what it might contain.

   “What’s the matter, Decker, don’t you trust the Lord of Hell to get your daughter an appropriate present?” mocked Maze from across the room where she had been chatting up the father of one of Trixie’s friends.

   Chloe lifted her chin. “Yes, actually, Trixie, opening your presents now sounds a good idea,” she said, and as her daughter danced around the table to reach the present she sent up a silent prayer - to whom, she really wasn’t sure - that Trixie wasn’t about to be disappointed or shocked at what she found.

   “Mommy, look!” At her daughter’s excitement, Chloe started to breathe again, and she looked over. Trixie was holding up a large briefcase that turned out to be a complete set of paints and colouring pens, all contained with a fold-out easel. “It’s great! I can do lots more painting and drawing now!”

   Lucifer had bought her an art set. She remembered now, how Trixie had admired a similar set on their day out. Lucifer must have remembered and bought it for her birthday.

   “Isn’t it just perfect?” Trixie continued excitedly. Her face fell a little. “I wish I could thank him properly for it.”

   “Yeah, munchkin, it’s great. And one day hopefully you’ll be able to tell him how much you love it.” Chloe deliberately avoided Amenadiel’s steady gaze as she returned to her seat. She picked up the photo of Lucifer and studied it. She knew every curve of his face by now, but still just looking at the photo steadied her, and reminded her what she was holding out for.

 ***

Dan slipped into the seat beside her, making her jump, and she fought the urge to tell him off for sitting in Lucifer’s chair. He was looking at her with a strange mixture of sympathy and pity. “I’ve been talking to Amenadiel,” he said.

   Chloe said nothing, waiting for him to say more.

   “What’s this about Lucifer running off and leaving you his entire fortune?”

   “Ah…” Reluctantly, she placed the photo back on the table and turned to face her ex-husband. “It’s not exactly like that. I mean, I know what the legal position is, but as far as I’m concerned Lucifer will be back someday and I’m just looking after everything for him until he can return.”

   “So where’s he gone?”

   For a wild moment, Chloe contemplated telling Dan the truth. _He’s gone back to his throne as King of Hell, to ensure our safety and the safety of all mankind, because otherwise demons will invade the world._ “He’s had to go take care of business elsewhere. That’s all.”

   “And you’re in charge of his money and business here?”

   She nodded. “Pretty much.”

   “No wonder you could afford this place for the afternoon.” Dan’s voice turned bitter.

   “I figured Lucifer would be okay with it, with throwing Trixie a party to make up for not being here.”

   Dan’s look made her wince, but she was not going to put up with his bad moods any longer. “Look, Dan, Lucifer is a good man. He’s done more for us than you’ll ever understand. And - and I love him, and I miss him, and I believe he’s coming back if he possibly can. He didn’t want to go, but he didn’t have a choice.” Ignoring Dan’s shocked expression, she continued, “Would you be able to have Trixie at your place tonight please? She hasn’t seen much of you lately, and I’m sure she’d love to stay over.”

 ***

That night, Chloe returned not to her apartment but to the penthouse. She found an old teeshirt of Lucifer’s in a drawer in the closet, and used that as a nightshirt, laughing to herself at the totally non-erotic scene she made, completely different from his usual overnight guests. On the bedside table she carefully placed the two framed photos - one of Lucifer trying to eat a huge clump of cotton candy, and one of Lucifer carrying Trixie on his back while she laughed at the pair of them. She looked longingly at the whiskey bottles on the shelf; the idea of drinking herself senseless appealed tonight more than it ever had before, but she forced herself to stay sober. Life was hard enough without Lucifer. Adding a drinking problem would not help any of them.

   She expected to be tossing and turning, but the bed was so soft and comfortable that her body relaxed as soon as she lay down. Despite the clean bedding, Lucifer’s scent still clung softly, and she took his dressing gown to bed with her, wrapping her body around it as though it radiated the only warmth that could reach her chilled body. She gazed out of the window at the city lights far below, and marvelled at the idea of falling asleep to that view every night. “Lucifer,” she whispered. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I really need you. Please come back to me. Please tell me that you’re safe, that everything’s okay, that you’ll be coming back.”

   Surprisingly, she did not cry; or maybe she just had no tears left to shed. She fell asleep, and dreamed of a _whoomph_ , of feathery white wings. She dreamed of a colourless expanse of rock, from which a single tower raised its head to the sky. Of a man who sat on a throne atop the tower. He was all red and black and white: shining black shoes, black suit crisply pressed, not a dark hair out of place on his head. His white shirt was open at the neck. The red came from glowing eyes, from a handkerchief poking out of the top pocket of the jacket, from the soles of his shoes. And, bizarrely, from red devils that showed on the narrow expanse of sock that could be seen between the shoes and the bottom of the pants.

   His head was down, and he appeared to be studying something intently. Something that he held in his hand. She stared, and realised that it was a photo frame. And then the dream faded and she rolled over and her sleep deepened.

 ***

In the morning, the sun woke her through the flimsy curtains, and she took a moment to remember where she was. Then she thought about her dream the previous night. How strange it had felt, and how unnerving her mental image of Hell had been.

   She rolled over to look at her photos. Lucifer’s face beamed back at her over the cotton candy.

   But despite her searching the area all around the bed, there was no sign of the photo with the three of them in it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what sort of sex toys etc might be in Lucifer's place. And while Chloe finding and playing with them might make an entertaining story, I'm not the best person to tell that one, sorry!


	4. Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Chloe continues to cope without Lucifer, she discovers a little more of the truth about him.

“Wow, he’s getting really big!” Chloe laughed at the way Charlie waved his toy around enthusiastically as he sat in his bouncy chair on the floor in Linda’s lounge.

   “Three months old now. I can hardly believe how quickly the time has gone.” Linda smiled at her, but the smile faded as she saw the expression on Chloe’s face. “What’s the matter, Chloe? Still nothing?”

   “No. But I’m sure he’s trying hard to find a way back.” Chloe had not told anyone about the framed photo that had gone missing. She had searched everywhere in the penthouse, but she knew, she _knew_ that she had put it on the bedside table with the other one.

   But just as she had before she knew the truth about Lucifer, she felt she’d rather cling to her uncertainty than risk finding out for certain that there was a mundane explanation. In her mind, Lucifer had visited her and taken the photo. And that told her that he could escape Hell if he chose, and that maybe he wanted something to remember her by.

   Of course, that raised another question: if he could escape Hell, why hadn’t he come to see her?

   “But Amenadiel says no one can get through to him,” Linda pointed out. “He’s cut himself off from everyone.”

   “Except dead souls,” Chloe mused.

   Linda raised her head and looked at her sharply. “Please tell me you’re not thinking of doing anything stupid,” she said.

   With a shrug, Chloe brushed off her concerns. “Of course not. Not seriously. I wouldn’t do it to Trixie, of course. But I can’t help thinking - people can die and come back, can’t they? And maybe during that brief time there’d be a chance—”

   “No! We had enough trouble with that when Lucifer…” The doctor’s voice trailed away and she blushed at the look from Chloe.

   “When Lucifer what?”

   “Nothing. Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

   “Linda!”

   The doctor sighed. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but you remember that time you were poisoned and the guy with the formula for the antidote killed himself? Well, how do you think Lucifer still managed to get hold of it and save you?”

   “He didn’t!” Chloe opened her eyes wide in shock. “What happened?”

   “Maze and I stopped his heart and then managed to revive him again. But it was incredibly dangerous. He nearly got trapped down there. His mum had to go in to save him.”

   “His mum? Oh, you mean his step-mum? Charlotte?” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Chloe felt like kicking herself. “I missed something else, didn’t I? Who was Charlotte, really?”

   “His actual mum. The goddess of all creation. At least at that point.” Linda gave Chloe an apologetic grin. “It’s a long story, but the real Charlotte was murdered and Lucifer’s mum escaped from Hell and took over her body for a bit. Then Lucifer sent her off to her own universe and Charlotte came back from Hell.”

   Chloe was quiet for a good few minutes, thinking things through, remembering that time when Lucifer had been convinced crimes were committed by his mum trying to send him a message. Then eventually, she asked, “How could Lucifer nearly get trapped in Hell, then? He’s the king there.”

  “It was something to do with the guilt over killing his brother, I think. He wouldn’t say much about it afterwards.”

   “His…” Chloe stared.

   “I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t be telling you any of this. But Chloe, Lucifer died willingly for you. He went to Hell for you. Twice, now. There’s no doubt he cares deeply for you. And if he’s staying away, it’s for good reason. Probably because he feels it’s the only way to keep you safe. And do you think he would want you to stay miserable over him?”

   “I know all that. But I really want him here. It’s not fair that he’s stuck there. He’s done so much, and we were just starting to work things out. I never appreciated before all that he is. I love him, Linda.”

   Linda leaned forward in her chair. “Chloe, are you sure you’re not putting him on a pedestal? It’s easy to look back and remember the good times, but I’m concerned that you’re putting too much on his shoulders. Maybe you need to give yourself a break, stop being so focused on wanting him back.”

   “I know he’s not perfect. He’s the devil! But it’s not fair that we never even got to see if we could make it work between us. Maybe it wouldn’t work out. But at least we would know for certain.”

 ***

Was Linda right? Was it time to move on? Chloe picked Trixie up from Dan and drove home with her, thinking hard.

   “Mommy, what’s happening? Why’s everyone outside?”

   Chloe stared ahead. “I don’t know, monkey.”

   Her neighbour flagged them down as they approached the parking lot. “We’re not allowed into the building,” she said, flustered.

   “What’s happened?” The cop in Chloe took over, and she pulled into her space and told Trixie to wait in the car.

   “One of the top apartments had a burst pipe. It’s flooded the place.”

   To Chloe’s horror, the story turned out to be true. The whole block was flooded and there was even concern about structural damage.

   “Well, munchkin, we need to find somewhere to sleep tonight,” she said, forcing herself to sound cheerful as she ran through a mental list of what they needed, what they might be able to salvage from the apartment when they were allowed back in, what was likely to be ruined.

   “The penthouse!” said Trixie excitedly. Ever since she had learned that Chloe was now in charge of looking after it - Chloe hadn’t told her that legally she now owned it - Trixie had been angling for another visit.

   “Just for tonight,” Chloe agreed wearily. “Then tomorrow we need to find somewhere else to live for a while.”

   She and Trixie shared the big bed for the night. Then next day Chloe took the day off work to go property hunting. She decided the first job was to visit the other properties she owned. Maybe she would find a nice house somewhere that would be suitable for her and Trixie. After all, they were just sitting doing nothing, and as far as she knew they were all fully furnished. Who knew why Lucifer felt the need to own so much property around the city?

   Or maybe she should just sell them, and use the money to buy something more suitable for her and Trixie. She had been determined not to spend any of it, but it was legally hers, and what harm would it do? She felt a surge of anger towards Lucifer for leaving her in this mess. He just wasn’t trying hard enough. He hadn’t thought things through, as usual.

   A couple of the properties were too far away from Trixie’s school to be of any use, and one was too small, but the next one she visited was the one where Lucifer had taken the sinnerman when he kidnapped him. When he was kidnapped by the sinnerman. Or not the sinnerman, because Pierce was the real sinnerman.

   Chloe’s head started to ache with all the ifs and buts and maybes. She let herself out the back door onto the balcony and stood admiring the view, and tried to stop working out what had actually happened here. This had been the moment when she had lost patience with Lucifer, when she had not understood why he felt the need to work against her, after all the times he had backed her up. And after that it had all been downhill, with her fling with Pierce. She still didn’t fully understand why Lucifer hadn’t warned her properly.

   Only he could explain what really happened. And only then could she feel ready to move on.

   She made her mind up, and headed back to the penthouse. Maze’s old room, on the floor below, would be ideal for Trixie. She would be able to keep a closer eye on the nightclub if she lived above it for a week or so, or however long it took for her apartment to be ready for occupation again. And Trixie would love living there.

 ***

She dreamed of him again that night. She had fallen asleep hugging his bathrobe again, and whispering his name. Her body ached with longing for him, and when she saw his face in her dreams the emotions surged over her like a wave, after weeks of feeling dulled and diluted.

   He looked sad. He was sitting on his throne just as the last time she had seen him. He still held the photo in his hand. And he looked straight at her. “I’m doing this for you, to keep you safe,” he said.

   “I know.” She knelt at his feet, even though she was suspended in the air. “But there has to be another way.”

   And then she woke, and shivered in the cold air from the open window.

 ***

Trixie loved living in the penthouse. Her favourite feature was the piano, and she soon persuaded Chloe to arrange for music lessons for her. As she bashed on the keys, determined to master her scales and simple tunes, Chloe thought back to the music that Lucifer would play, and wondered whether he would be proud of Trixie’s progress or complain about his precious piano. “If he doesn’t like it, he’s welcome to come and tell us,” she said.

   “What was that, Mommy?” Trixie looked round from where she was working on her latest piece.

   “Nothing, monkey. You’re getting better, you know. What was that tune called again?”

 ***

There were problems with the nightclub, and Chloe found herself interviewing for another manager. Hearing her complaining to Linda about it, Amenadiel once again suggested that she could sell the club. “It’s yours, Chloe. You don’t know anything about the details of running a nightclub. Why not sell it to someone who has the time to deal with it properly? You know that Lucifer doesn’t need the money, right? He could easily make plenty more, even if he did somehow find a way back.”

   Chloe shook her head. “It’s not about the money, Amenadiel. It’s about his life. If I sold it, sold any of it, it would mean that I don’t think he’s coming back. And he’ll find a way, I know he will. After all, he’s nearly as powerful as God, isn’t he? He challenged him once.”

   “And lost,” Amenadiel pointed out. “And he’s shut himself in with the demons. And even if he wasn’t locked in, it wouldn’t be safe for him to leave Hell now. Now the demons have tasted freedom, they need their king full time to keep them under control.”

   “But I have faith in him. I know he’ll be back somehow. And when he does come back - when - then his life will be here waiting for him. And I don’t need to know all the day to day stuff of running a nightclub. I just need to find a manager, someone who will run it for me while I make all the big decisions for it.”

 ***

After six months, even Ella had stopped asking after Lucifer. She even suggested once or twice that they should organise another girls’ night out. Chloe thought of the last time, her ill-fated bachelorette party, and resisted. “I’m not interested in other men,” she said.

   “No one says you have to be serious about it,” Ella urged. “Just go out and have fun. Give yourself a chance. You never know what might happen.”

   “If only I could talk to him,” she said impulsively. “We had just reached the point where we could talk properly. I still have so many questions. I just need to talk to him one more time. Maybe then I could accept that he’s really not coming back.”

   “Last time he disappeared, he was only away for a month,” Ella said. “Remember when he ran away and got married? I really thought the two of you might be getting together until then.”

   “So did I,” Chloe smiled at the thought. “We shared a kiss. And then I got poisoned, and then he ran away. I never did find out properly what that was about.”

   “Oh, he wanted to know what his mum was up to,” said Ella. “And Candy agreed to marry him and try to find out.”

   “He…” But why had he run away in the first place? And his mum? The goddess of all creation? What plans could she possibly have had? And why did he feel the need to go as far as marriage?

   More questions. “Lucifer,” she said in her mind. “We need to talk. I need to understand properly. Please, please find a way back to me.”

 ***

She confronted Amenadiel and Linda. If anyone knew the truth about why Lucifer had run away that time, it would be them. Amenadiel looked to Linda for permission before he spoke. When she nodded, he explained. “He learned that you’re a miracle, Chloe. Did you know your mother had trouble conceiving? Dad sent me down to bless your mother so she could get pregnant, and that baby she had was you. When we realised, Lucifer was afraid that Dad had made you to love him, that you didn’t have a choice in the matter. And we all know how hot my brother is on free will. He felt that with him around, you had no free will, and so he left. But he couldn’t stay away for long, so he came back but brought a wife with him, so that he could protect you from your feelings. And maybe to figure out mum’s plan,” he added with a wry smile.

   Chloe listened to all this with an open mouth. Then she laughed, until the tears came. “What absolute garbage! He wanted to protect me from my feelings? Didn’t he realise how much he was hurting me?”

   Amenadiel shrugged. “I never said he was rational in his thoughts. You know Luci.”

   “Yeah, I do know him. And it’s true, you know, I don’t have any choice in my feelings. I love him, Amenadiel. I love him. Do you get that? Whether it’s because your father made me that way, or because I have free will, I love him and I want him back. And I need him to know that, because I believe he loves me too.”

   Amenadiel said nothing more, but he looked at her thoughtfully.

 ***

At the school Christmas concert, Chloe met the father of one of Trixie’s friends. He had talked to her before, and she hadn’t taken much notice. But now, she felt a spark of interest that had been missing for a long time. They shared observations of the performance, and of the teachers, and she found herself laughing and enjoying herself.

   A movement caught her eye, and she glanced up to see someone in a black suit moving through the crowd.

   Lucifer? Had he been watching her? Had he seen her talking to a man?

   Abandoning her companion mid-sentence, she pushed her way through, following the black suit. “Lucifer!”

   She finally got close enough to put a hand on his arm, and he turned.

   It wasn’t Lucifer. He was the same height, same sort of build, even looked a little similar. But he had a full beard and he wore glasses.

   “I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” She laughed nervously and let him go.

   “Is everything okay?” Her companion caught up with her. “You looked upset. Can I help?”

   Chloe shook her head. “I’m sorry. I thought I saw someone I knew, but I was wrong.” She tried to return to the conversation, but the surge of hope and excitement that she had felt as she thought Lucifer had returned warned her that she was still far from ready to move on.

 ***

On Chloe’s birthday, her friends rallied around to try to cheer her up. All she could think about was the previous year, when Lucifer had disappeared with Ella and the rest of them had ended up partying at the penthouse, drinking Lucifer’s best whiskey and nearly trashing the place. And he hadn’t said a word in protest. He had just said something quietly about not wanting to lie to her - while he thought she was asleep - and then presented her with the bullet necklace.

   She slipped her hand up to it, as she thought about that night. She still wore the necklace every day, and found herself playing with it whenever she was bored, or was trying to figure something out. She would hold the bullet in her hand, close her eyes, imagine Lucifer and try to work out what he would do or say. It was nowhere near as good as the real thing, but sometimes it gave the break in the case she so badly needed.

   “Chloe!”

   She turned to see Amenadiel, Linda and Maze standing behind her. Maze was holding Charlie, who was wriggling to get down and show off his crawling skills. “Hey, guys, it’s good to see you.” She embraced them all, and gave Charlie a hug before setting him on the floor. “It’s okay, Maze, this place is child-proof now. Trixie and I checked it all over.”

   Maze gave her a doubtful look and set off across the room, keeping a few inches behind Charlie and making ready to scoop him up if anything went wrong with his travels.

   Linda looked strangely excited. “We have news,” she said. “About Lucifer.”

   Chloe’s heart stopped beating for a moment as she tried to read Linda’s expression. News. Good news? Bad news? News was news. But it would put an end to this limbo. That was a good thing, right?

   She looked to Amenadiel for clarification. He nodded solemnly. “Chloe, we may have figured out a way,” he said. “I think we can bring him back. It might take some time to sort the details, but we’ve spoken to him and we think we can make it happen.”

  


	5. party time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer is coming back. But Chloe still doesn't know when. And in the meantime life goes on and there are birthdays to celebrate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter. Apologies for the delay posting - news of the final season etc proved a distraction! As ever, thanks for your kind comments - they're much appreciated.

_He’s coming back. He’s coming back._ That thought kept her awake most of that night, and was the first thing in her head when she woke up the next morning. They were still living in the penthouse; somehow, although their old apartment had been restored to order, they had never gotten around to moving back. And Trixie would have complained loudly if she’d had to leave the piano, and there was no way they would fit one in the apartment - not to mention the likely complaints from the neighbors.

   At least in the penthouse there was plenty of buffer space between the penthouse rooms and the tenants in the floors below them and above the nightclub. And anyone who lived over a nightclub would be used to noise anyway. As their new landlady, Chloe had met all the tenants at least once, and was impressed at how casual they all were about where they lived.

   But then they didn’t know that Lucifer was the real devil.

   The thought still gave her a thrill every time she thought about it, although she’d had all this time to get to grips with the truth. She just wished she’d had longer with him. She had just reached the point where she could accept him as everything he truly was, and in that moment he had gone. Life felt incredibly cruel.

   What would he be like when he returned? Would they pick up just as they had stopped? Would she have to get used to him again? Would he have changed?

   What would running Hell do to him? Would he slip back into old ways? Was he still tough enough to do the job? Would he have forgotten what it was like to live on earth, and live a human life? Question after question chased around her head.

   The previous evening, they had left Trixie and Charlie with a babysitter and headed down below to Chloe’s birthday part at Lux. It had been so different from her impromptu party the year before in the penthouse, but it was another birthday without Lucifer. She had tried to party, but in the end had sat in one of the corner booths sipping on a pina colada and watching her friends dancing and having a good time on the dancefloor.

   She had looked up, startled, as Ella slipped in beside her. “What’s up, girlfriend?” her friend asked. “You’re sitting here looking miserable as hell, and it’s your birthday! You should be dancing!”

   Chloe gave a weak smile. “I know. I will in a bit. But I’m just…” She hesitated. “Amenadiel says Lucifer’s coming back soon, and I don’t know how to feel now.”

   Ella had no such doubts. She gave out a whoop of joy. “He’s coming back? Our boy’s coming back? Damn, you have no idea how much I’ve missed that guy. Chloe, that’s the best news, isn’t it?”

   “I guess so. But we don’t know when. It might be some time yet.”

   “And what does that mean? Hours? Days? Weeks?” Ella faltered. “Months?”

   There was nothing Chloe could do but shrug.

   “Hey, but he’s definitely coming back. And that’s gotta be a good thing, right?”

   But she couldn’t shake off the feeling of unease. She had spent so much of the past year longing for him, imagining what life would be like when he returned, and now that it seemed certain he would, she didn’t know what would happen next.

***

And so now she sat on the side of the bed gazing out at the city below, listening to Trixie practicing her scales. She called out a greeting to her daughter, and Trixie’s face appeared around the corner of the pillar. “Sorry, Mommy, do you have a hangover? I can practice later if you like.”

   Chloe laughed, jumping off the bed and scooping her into her arms. “It’s all right, monkey. I do have a slight headache, but hey, Amenadiel says Lucifer is coming back. Isn’t that great?”

   Trixie’s face lit up in a smile, but then dropped immediately. “That’s great, Mom, but does that mean we’ll have to move back to our apartment? What about my piano practice? Can we take the piano with us?”

   “We can look into getting you your own piano,” Chloe promised, while wondering how they would manage to fit it in. “But yes, we’ll move back to our apartment. We should have done it weeks ago, really.”

   “Do we have to? When does he get back?”

   “I’m not sure. Amenadiel said it would take a while, but he wasn’t sure how long.”

   “Then can we stay until he gets back? Please please please?”

   Trixie’s wide eyes stared up at her pleadingly, and Chloe sighed. “We’ll see. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to stay here a bit longer. Just until we hear when he’s coming back. Or at least until after Charlie’s birthday party next month.”

   Trixie bounced off to get back to her piano and Chloe pulled the bedcovers straight, feeling secretly relieved at the reprieve. She would miss the place. And would Lucifer get back to work at the precinct? She would sign all the money and properties back over to him, of course. Most of it was untouched, although she had paid out for a few things for Trixie, and some of the things they had needed to replace after the flood had damaged them. It hadn’t felt right to use any more of it.

***

Chloe spent the next few days jumping at every sound, seeing Lucifer’s face in the crowds, glimpsing his long stride from across the street. She kept telling herself that she had waited this long while not knowing he was able to come back. She could last a little longer for his return now she knew it would happen.

   But somehow that didn’t help.

   She tried to keep busy, to take her mind off Lucifer. But the more she forced him out of her mind during the day, the more he haunted her dreams, until she would wake up at night convinced that she had heard his voice. Once or twice she even got out of bed and checked the rest of the penthouse, just in case he had sneaked in.

   What would it be like? Would he just walk in? Would he fly in? Would he just appear? Chloe’s mood swung from elated to miserable in seconds, as her thoughts raced until her head ached and she could bear it no more. Then she would encourage Trixie to play the piano, until the noise of that produced a different kind of headache that masked the first.

   She even learned to pick out a few tunes herself, remembering her childhood lessons and playing songs that she could sing along softly to.

   She visited the apartment, but the idea of living there again felt strange. They’d been at the penthouse for six months now, and had grown used to it, unconventional as it was. And she felt closer to Lucifer that way. Still, she had told Trixie they would move back after Charlie’s party, and it would probably be better for them to be settled before Lucifer returned.

 ***

A couple of weeks later, Linda and Charlie visited her at the penthouse to discuss the party. Chloe gave her friend a big hug. Charlie was impatient to explore and Trixie wanted to show him the play corner they had made, so Linda put him down to crawl off. He headed straight for the toybox full of toys in the corner of the room, and Trixie helped him to find the car he loved best. Chloe watched them with a smile, remembering the adult toybox that she had placed in the bedroom. Trixie had been curious, but had been forbidden to look in there and had soon lost interest.

   “So how are you doing?” Linda asked, looking at her friend closely.

   Chloe forced a smile. “I’m really happy. I can’t wait to have him back,” she said.

   “That’s good. And now are you going to tell me how you really feel?”

   Oh the burden of having a therapist as a friend! Chloe sat down on the settee. “I am happy,” she said. “But I’m a little nervous too. What will it be like? What will he be like? He’s been in Hell, Linda. As the ruler, but still, what does it do to you? Will he still be the same person? Will he still want the same things?”

   Linda nodded wisely. “Lucifer learned a lot in his time on earth,” she said. “And he was just starting to make real progress in self-understanding. I just hope he learned enough to sustain him through his time - down there - and to bring him back safely. I’ve missed him too, you know. Life was always interesting with him around.”

   “Understatement!” Chloe laughed. She looked at her friend curiously. She found it impossible to forget that her friend was one of the many women who had slept with Lucifer. She had tried to pluck up courage to ask what it was like, but didn’t dare. Of course, she herself was one of the few women not to have slept with him.

   “Mama!” Charlie called, waving a teddy in the air.

   “Hi Charlie,” Linda waved at him. She looked at Chloe. “One day he’ll start talking properly,” she said with a sigh. “And then I suppose I’ll be wishing he’d be quieter for a while.”

   “So is there any news?” Chloe asked. “On when Lucifer will be back? How did it happen? What’s going on?” She thought back to that awful night when Charlie had been kidnapped and the city had been invaded by demons. “Is it safe?”

   “It was you who figured out the way to bring him back,” Linda said, and then laughed at the shocked expression on Chloe’s face.

   “How? I mean, what’s happening?”

   “Well, you’ve been so stubborn about that damn nightclub, and we never thought you’d cope with it, but you insisted that you could still run it and hold down your job, and you found the right manager and you did it. You still have the overall responsibility, but someone else does all the day to day tasks and just asks you if there’s a problem.”

   “So - Lucifer found a manager for Hell?”

   “Strange as it seems, yes.” Linda paused for a moment to help Charlie out with a toy. “It took a little persuasion from Amenadiel, but their siblings have agreed that it’s unfair for him to be left looking after Hell alone. They’ve agreed that they’ll each take a turn, and Lucifer will retain overall control while they have day to day management of the place and can turn to him if they hit problems.”

   “Wow!” Chloe played with the idea in her mind. “That’s incredible. That’s - wonderful. So how long until he gets back? Any news yet?”

   “We still don’t know.” Linda sighed. “Honestly, Chloe, we complain about things moving slowly here, but it sounds like it’s even worse in the silver city. But hopefully in our terms it will only be a matter of weeks.”

   “In our terms?” Chloe stared at her, eyes wide. “What does that mean?”

   The therapist gave a deep sigh, and seemed reluctant to answer. “Time’s different down there, Chloe. Who knows how long it’s been in Lucifer’s time? But then time’s different for him too, I guess, as an immortal. After all, he’s been around for eons.”

   Another idea struck Chloe. “But I thought no one could speak to him.”

   “Oh, you figured that out too. Azrael started sending messages down with all the newly dead souls she sent to Hell.”

   “Azrael?”

   “Sorry, that’s their sister. The angel of death.”

   “The angel of death is a chick?”

   Linda laughed. “That was exactly my reaction. But yeah. Eventually Lucifer listened and responded. And finally agreed to try a new arrangement. Now they just need to get the final details sorted and he’ll be clear to return.”

   They moved on to discussion of the party plans for the next week, but in the lulls in conversation Chloe mulled over the idea that while she had been waiting the best part of a year, for Lucifer it had been longer. What was it like for him? Did he even remember her properly?

***

On the day of Charlie’s birthday, Chloe was busy getting the penthouse ready. Charlie and a few young friends plus their parents would be joining the adults for a celebration of the young half-angel - who so far had shown no sign of being anything more than human, to his father’s intense disappointment and his mother’s extreme relief. Chloe had offered the penthouse as a venue - it offered enough entertainment and refreshments for the adults, as well as the toy corner and all the extra delights she had arranged for the half-dozen babies and toddlers.

   She checked the ball pool - the outside hot tub was securely covered over for the occasion, but large plastic balls should be safe enough - and headed through to the bathroom to check the baby changing facilities. She heard the elevator ping. “Hi Ella,” she called through. “Could you blow up the last few balloons I left on the piano please? I’ll be out in a minute.”

   “Are you sure they’re balloons?” replied a voice that definitely wasn’t Ella.

   Chloe froze.

   “And I must say, detective, your idea of party hosting is rather different from mine.”

   Slowly, Chloe put down the pile of diapers and walked to the bathroom door. She hesitated, hand on the door frame, suddenly terrified of walking out there.

   “Detective?”

   At his quizzical tone, so familiar and yet from what seemed a lifetime ago, she forced herself forward. She stepped timidly into the bedroom entrance and saw Lucifer for the first time in nearly a year.

   “Hello, detective.” His smile was uncertain, as though he was unsure of his welcome.

   For a moment Chloe forgot how to speak. Eventually she managed to force out a sound. “Lucifer!” was all she could gasp before the elevator dinged again.

   Ella bounced out. “Hi Chloe, sorry I’m la— Lucifer!” She ran across the room and hugged him tightly, leaving him looking perplexed and uncomfortable. “Hey, Lucifer! It’s so good to see you, buddy. We missed you so so much! Of course, Chloe missed you most. But we all missed you. Even Dan.” She gave a crooked smile. “I always said he’d come around. He was so miserable after Charlotte… I think he blamed himself. Which is stupid, right? But we all do it. We all blame ourselves—”

   “Ella?” Chloe managed to interrupt. “The guests will be here soon. And we really need to finish the party decorations.” She looked nervously at Lucifer, who was gazing around him with interest.

   Chloe felt cold rush over her as she compared the penthouse as it was now with how he had left it. If only he’d waited another couple of days, then she could have put it all back how he liked it. But now the ball pool sat in one corner, with half a dozen balls escaped and lying nearby. The toy box was open, and one or two select toys laid out on the brightly colored playmat, ready for action. A large rocking horse sat nearby.

   Alongside the whiskey bottles on the bar there were now bottles and cans of soda for the adults, plus the odd beer bottle. Balloons and streamers hung everywhere. A new table at the far end of the room by the balcony stood read for the plates of food. And a huge banner across the windows declared “Happy Birthday Charlie!”

   The walls were decorated with Trixie’s paintings and drawings - at least it proved that she appreciated her birthday present from Lucifer. The books from the bookshelf had been boxed and left in a storage room downstairs, and instead the shelves were full of her novels and children’s books. A certificate from Trixie’s school, declaring her student of the week, stood in pride of place in a frame on the desk, alongside the photo of Lucifer eating cotton candy. On the other side of the certificate was another copy of the photo of the three of them, which she’d had reprinted.

   “I didn’t know you’d be back today,” she managed, trying to process the fact that after very nearly a year Lucifer was finally back home.

   He gave a crooked smile and held his arms out in a shrug. “Well, here I am, detective.”

   And then the elevator dinged again and Linda, Amenadiel and Charlie arrived, and there was no time for talk as they carried food up from the kitchen and made last-minute adjustments to the room before the guests arrived.

   Charlie seemed fascinated by Lucifer, and stared wide-eyed at him from Linda’s arms. Chloe felt almost jealous; she would have liked to sit and stare at Lucifer herself, but she was busy playing hostess. Dan had brought Trixie, and had appeared startled to see Lucifer, but had busied himself pouring drinks for everyone, and Chloe was grateful he hadn’t tried to make a scene. He had seemed so angry towards Lucifer when he first left.

   She had been pretty angry herself. But now he was back, it was as though the last year had not happened; as though he had merely stepped out for a day or two.

   And then the memories and the resentment and the longing and the loneliness washed over her again, and she longed to wave her arms, ask everyone to leave and then sit down with him and just talk.

   He seemed to sense her watching him, and glanced over. Linda put her hand on his arm and spoken to him earnestly, and Amenadiel hugged him, the first real sign of affection Chloe had ever seen between the brothers.

   But apart from that he seemed his usual cheerful self, chatting with Linda and Amenadiel, flirting casually with the mothers of a couple of the children, listening patiently to Ella and watching the children play as though they were likely to attack him at any time.

   Charlie, who was sitting on the carpet tucking into a cookie, squashed the last mouthful into his mouth, crawled over to Linda and pulled himself to his feet, staring across the room to where Lucifer was lounging on a chair, trying to look casual but actually looking tense and uncomfortable at the bustle around him.

   “Look, Charlie, it’s your uncle Lucifer,” Linda said, encouraging Charlie to wave at him. “Say hi to Uncle Lucifer.”

   “Lulu,” the child said clearly, and then set off across the room on an uneven lurch, landing with delight with both crumb-coated hands flat on Lucifer’s knees. “Lulu.” And he held his arms up to be picked up.

   “Charlie!” gasped Linda. “That’s his first word! And his first steps! Lucifer, you’re honored.”

   And to her surprise, Lucifer just picked him up and held him for a minute, talking softly to him, before setting him back on the floor with instructions to go chat to the girls.

***

The party felt like it went on forever, but eventually the guests started to leave, the youngest guests looking ready for bed and the adults not looking much different. Dan surprised Chloe by taking her to one side and offering to take Trixie back with him. “I know she was supposed to stay here tonight, but I thought you might need time to - you know - talk?”

   “Thanks, Dan,” she said gratefully, and gave Trixie a big hug before sending them on their way.

   Linda took her to one side. “Are you okay with this?” she asked her.

   Chloe looked over her shoulder to where Lucifer and Amenadiel were deep in conversation. “I think so,” she said, although she felt far from certain.

   “If you need anything, you know where we are,” the therapist assured her.

   Charlie seemed reluctant to leave his new-found relative, holding out his arms and crying “Lulu! Lulu!” as Amenadiel tried to distract him with one of his new toys.

   And then they left too and it was just Chloe and Lucifer.

   “I’m sorry,” she said, feeling awkward. “Our apartment flooded, and we needed somewhere to stay, and then Trixie started to learn the piano and we never got around to leaving, but I’ll pack my things—”

   He shook his head. “And you never sold the place?”

   “Of course not. It’s yours. And I always knew you’d be back.” Her voice faltered. “I hoped you’d be back. Lucifer - I wanted you back so badly. There's just one thing I don't understand - Amenadiel said you were locked in Hell with the demons and no one could get in or out, even you.”

   Lucifer gave that smile she had missed so much. "The jailer is locked into the prison with the prisoners, but he's the one who has control of the key," he pointed out. "And anyone locking themselves in and not holding the key securely would rather foolish, don't you think?"

   And then the tears started to flow and he stepped forward and took her in his arms.

   She finally felt like she was where she belonged, and as she sobbed into his chest and he held her close, the agony and sorrow of the past year faded to memory. She didn’t know how - or if - this would work. She couldn’t know what was going to happen. But she knew that now, by some miracle, they had a chance to find out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for travelling this journey with me. This was a deliberate attempt to catch the emotions and thought processes of exploring someone's life and finding out about them at the same time as missing them and longing to have them back. If I made you miss Lucifer, then I achieved my aim, so sorry!  
> Update: Please note - this story is now a prequel/bridge to a new story/trilogy I'm working on. Watch out for Some Humans Are Just Evil, to be published soon! Aiming for 21st Feb 2020.


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